I saw the movie "Precious" this weekend. I thought it was a good film. The term I've been using to describe it is "intense." Good cinematography and great acting with a heavy, yet well executed, plot. There is already Oscar buzz surrounding actress Mo'Nique for her role as the mother in the film. I think she did a phenomenal job.

My husband asked if I would say she was better than Heath Ledger as Joker in Batman. My initial reaction was "heck no!" Heath Ledger destroyed (that's destroyed in a good way) that role in a way where no one will ever be able to play the Joker again. He will forever be the Joker. But after I thought about it, I think I would place Mo'Nique on the same level as Ledger. The Joker is a very complex character to play, being insane and all, so a person might say that it is "harder" to play the Joker than to play the Mother in "Precious." But for all intents and purposes, the Mother is mentally ill as well. Both were so committed to the characters that audiences have very visceral reactions to them.

I think both actor's performances can be acclaimed on the same level.

"I use to be a dancer."

Ouch. I hate the way that sounds, but its true.

I danced for 14 years at the same dance studio. I loved every minute of it. The costumes, the performances, the classes, the spotlight. I studied predominately, jazz, tap, ballet/pointe and hip-hop. Dancing is where my love for performing began. After 14 years of dancing you would think I'd  have been ready for So You Think You Can Dance...sadly, I'm not.

Around year 10, or maybe earlier, my grandmother started trying to get me to change dance studios. She could see that I wasn't progressing. I didn't want to. I was comfortable, and I was one of THE top dancers at the studio, why change? I got too comfortable. So comfortable that I had peeked where I was, and I wasn't learning anything. On the instances I found myself outside of the comfort of my home studio I realized that I was no where near at the skill level of someone who had danced 14 years.

When I went to outside auditions for college I bombed. And there is where my dance career sort of died. I was mad. Mad at myself for not being all the dancer I could be, and getting so comfortable. Mad at my studio for continuing to take my money but not continuing to teach me. I can barely watch videos from the performances in my later years, to be frank, I looked horrible.  There really was nobody to blame but myself. I made my choice, and now I live with it.

In the end, I am sure this all contributed to a greater purpose. It was my background in dancing that got me into acting, which I ended up studying in college, and enjoy and am semisuccessful at today. On occasion I still get to dance in the theater productions I'm in, which makes me happy .No regrets.

Moral of the story: Don't get complacent. It might be comfortable and fun being at the top of one level, but you've got to break through, you've got to get uncomfortable to continue to learn and achieve.

I'm having a hard time being motivated lately, for multiple reasons.

I'm sick. I hate being sick. It just sucks.

A cold
It creeps into your body through breath - mouth and nose.
Slowly tightens your chest and steals your breath away.
Like its name it makes you feel rigid, shivering on the inside
Aching down to your bones.

Although my cold motivated that quick little poem about colds, it seems to be wearing me down everywhere else.

No one is here
This week at work due to other people being sick, meetings, and one coworker having a car accident, the office has been really empty and quiet. Although peace and quiet is a good work environment for concentration, I'm more motivated to keep busy when other people are around me being busy.

Wrap me up in chicken noodle soup, dip me in orange juice, and call me in the morning...

I never fantasized about my knight in shining armor, although I am much a princess.
I never imagined my wedding day.
I never doodled my name, adding the last name of some sought after beau to mine.
I didn't like relationships.
I hated being a girlfriend and found myself easily bored by boyfriends.
With a career high of 2 months being my longest relationship I entered into a courting on 06/15/06.
I had no doubt this would end the same as all the others, me disinterested and him broken hearted.
A few months in I even tried to force the termination. Why get attached when things will just end badly?
Somewhere between 06/15/06 when you asked for the 50th time "Will you be my girlfriend?" and I answered "Ugh. Fine!" and 10/18/09 when we both said "I do," I fell in love.
Fell in love with you and the way you make me feel.
Suddenly I couldn't picture a day without you, or my life in my absence.
I love you.

Why is it that people see other country's like of our president (Obama) as something negative? Whenever non-American support of our president is mentioned its always something bad. Why?

I think its because American's are so xenophobic that they think other countries should have nothing but fear for us and our president, as we seem to fear other countries. Yes, we fear other countries. This war wouldn't have been supported as long as it has if people didn't think that we needed to bully other countries into our way of thinking in order to keep them from attacking us.

What about friendships? What about positive relationships and positive perceptions between nations? I've always thought that positive begets positive, and negative begets more negative. One day, somebody will have to step up and be the bigger person, to say "we were wrong, what can we do to make things right?" (yes, I know it is not as simple as just saying that, but the sentiment of that statement is what I mean).

I think President Obama has made good strides into "marketing" the U.S. in a more friendly way, and I don't see anything wrong with that.

We don't have to rule by fear...then again, why do we feel like we need to rule?