Inspired by the Tyra Show today. If you have sex you could get pregnant. If you get pregnant, you will most likely have a baby. Come on young ladies. Please, please be serious with yourself. Are you REALLY mature enough to have sex? Do you REALLY know the chain of events sex can lead to? Pregnancy, STDs, they ARE possibilities.
Stop thinking that it can't happen to you. You have the same internal organs as any other woman who has gotten pregnant or contracted an STD. My little sister got pregnant at 17. When I asked her about the time she had sex that resulted in my precious niece she said they just didn't have a condom. She also commented that it was weird when she went to the bathroom afterward cause all this "stuff" was coming out of her. She didn't know what sperm was. She didn't know what sperm was, but she was having sex.
I am sure she is NOT the only one completely oblivious to all the mechanics before she started "doing the deed."
Non-comprehensive sex education: 0; Comprehensive sex education: 1
(in this case, our school system has a good sex ed program, she was just skipping health class
. And don't say it was because she wasn't taught abstinence because we came from the same family, and you folks know where I stand on that...no ring, no ding-a-ling)
So. Hey mother, your teen daughter is pregnant. Now what? When a teen gets pregnant it is a failure on somebody's part. The girl is by no means a failure for life, but that situation is an EPIC FAIL. When a teen gets pregnant it is a sour situation. Now, of course you don't want to just disown your daughter, so you want to take that sour lemon and make lemonade. The key here is not to use too much sugar. That situation is anything but sweet. Make sure your daughter knows you are happy to have that little bundle of joy, but she still made a bad decision.
No, I'm not a mother, but I am an aunt to a little girl with a teenage mom. A teen mom that is not equipped to take care of a precious little bundle of joy.
Don't coddle your teen mother/daughter! She now needs to GROW UP. MAKE here take responsibility for that child. A baby is a gift, yes, but a teen pregnancy situation is not, and in order for your daughter to really understand and learn from her mistake you can't coddle the situation, looking through rose colored glasses while you have baby showers, and pick up cribs. If the teen thinks that in the end, she didn't do anything wrong, she hasn't learned, and she won't grow up.
I saw three girls playing double dutch today and it made me smile. I don't see that very often any more. Young girls have gone from turning rope to turning tricks, from hopscotch to club-hopping, and from trying to show how big their brain is to bragging about the good head they give. It makes me happy to see young girls just being young girls.
Oh. And teen boys. You need to take responsibility as well. Don't just assume she is on birth control, or that she is taking it correctly.
You can only have control if you take the precautions from your end as well. Condoms, FTW.
ABSTINENCE. FTGW (for the GREATER win).
/endrant
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Comments (344)
Great post!
Great post. I am having an issue with teen sex. My 17 Year old sister is sexually active and had a pregnancy scare. Thank the Lord, she was not pregnant. These girls have got to start using their heads. Not even just the girls. These boys need to step up and be responsible and have protection with them all the time.
It takes two!
Agreed! Great post! Parents need to become more involved instead of leaving it up to the schools to educate their kids.
i LOVE you.
Have you ever heard of Lakita Garth-Wright?
I think this is an important post, but I was surprised to see it all aimed towards teen girls. As we all know, they aren't having sex with themselves, and it applies just as strongly to the boys involved. I guess it just concerns me, because there is such a long history of stigmatizing women who become pregnant, with no similar stigma for the males involved, and it's a crazy double standard.
I'm not saying you did that, but many people do, and given what you do say on this post, I thought it was an important point to add.
I hope your sister, and your little niece, will be ok. It sure must help that they have a loving family to support them.
@easily_amused17 - Thank you kindly.
@BMarie_354 - Definitely! They can only control things if they are taking precautions on their end too.
@forever_musing - Most definitely.
@TheMarriedFreshman - lol thanks....No I haven't heard of her, is she an author or something?@tulipsinspring - You are absolutely right! It does take two, and teen boys need to take the precautions on their end as well.
I normally avoid rants but this one had a sense of.....I dunno......education more than opinion? I think the fact that you're speaking on something that you've seen first hand helps give it more of an advice feel than a "condescending-get-out-my-face" type rant. Either way, very nice post.
"No ring, no ding-a-ling" - A classic
well said, esp. the last part with the boys.
Well said!
true story. maybe its just because my mom is a midwife, but ive known the mechanics of sex since im pretty sure before conscious memory set in. im sure this is closeminded of me to say, but i dont understand how people can NOT know...
Very well said. You make a good point about young people not fully understanding the mechanics of sex and I've seen this play out amongst my adult students in trade school. It's more than a little scary sometimes, just how high the level of ignorance is.
I love the Tyra show! She's so real and upfront about things. I love it!
I agree with you on all points. You know, as soon as i got my first period my mother looked at me at said "Your body is able to get pregnant now. DON'T HAVE SEX." Which i thought was weird cuz i was like 12... Then when i started high school she gave me the "If you ever get pregnant..." talk. She made it completely clear that it wouldn't be all fun and games, she wouldn't let me get an abortion or give it up for adoption, and she would make me stay in school and work to support the baby myself. She would NEVER have thrown me a baby shower or made any part of it "fun" and would NEVER let me forget about my mistake...but i know she would have loved the baby. More parents need to have that kindof talk with their kids. And not just daughters. We need to make sure the guys take responsibility for their actions too! If my son ever got someone pregnant i would totally make sure he got a job and supported that kid himself!
Needless to say I wasn't a stupid kid and even though we didn't eally get a whole lot of sex ed (stupid catholic school...they taught what sex is and how pregnancy occurs, and sort of touched on STD's, but didn't explain them in detail and didn't teach about protection) I took it upon myself to get educated (yay library!!) and that made me want to wait for the right person and be responsible about it. I HATE when people think that kids being educatedabout sex will want to have it more. The result is actually the opposite!
the first sentence said it all. all these teens (and preteens!) just can't seem to get that through their heads.
Very well written
I agree but also have a question for you. Your post focuses primarily on sexual intercourse. What is your stand on the way teenagers are educated on other forms of sex (oral, dry, etc..)?
wow, well said :)
aw. tough subject. I can imagine how frustrating it is... especially with your sister.
for cereal. you're the best! :]
You totally read my mind.
@epitomeof_aberrance -Thanks.lol, I just made that up today, glad you like my new saying
@makethemakersmile - Yo. I'm with you! lol We come from the same people, but she didn't know about sperm, I'm not sure where the wires got crossed or what. She skipped health class cause it was boring... grrrr
@that_friggan_knitter - You are right. Sometimes its they don't know the mechanics, and other times they just don't think it could happen to them.
@Ima_BearKat - Ooh good question! lol. I think for those "alternative" forms of sex, parents should be the ones to emphasise that especially with dry sex, it can often lead to full blown intercourse. I think oral and anal sex (which people somehow don't consider sex) is something a sex ed program can tackle, and make sure that kids know u can still get STDs in those ways, but dry sex should probably be discussed by parents with their child. The main thing is that there are parents that don't know of these new age "sex alternatives" so these things get neglected in sex education on both sides.
@elelkewljay - LOL, thanks
I lost my virginity at 16. I was a lot more knowledgeable and mature about it than most people my age (75% of the kids I grew up with have kids). To me, it was no big deal, though it should have been, and we were extremely careful.
I'm 20 now, in a committed relationship of 2.5 years, and yes, I have sex. I know my body could physically get pregnant, and that fact scares me a lot more than it would most women because I would have to have an abortion for medical reasons. I'd rather avoid that entire scenario. This fact would not change if I were married or not, so I see no point in waiting 5 years until we get married. We use 2 forms of birth control, and I'm content in my decisions.
I couldn't agree more.
My thing is that you can't stop teens from having sex, but the schools, and the parents have to do everything in their power to teach these kids about protective sex. I mean how hard is to bash that in their brains.
Also I agree with you on the fact that the mother shouldn't disown the daughter just becuz of the EPIC FAIL. Help them out and teach them to be more responsible, but don't tell them that they are going to fail in life becuz of this mistakes. Glad that ur sis has a support system